she's my little whiskey girl.

i'm living my life on my last dollar and trying to love every minute of it.
lol omg

(Source: tiemydurag)

emmablackeru:

why you should be my friend

  1. I will talk about sex with you and not care in the slightest even if you have the most bizarre kinks I do not give a shit
  2. I will reblog your selfies no questions asked
  3. I will ask you questions on anon to make you look more popular
  4. nothing happens to me so you can talk about yourself forever.

this—too—shall—pass:

engr4ved:

They use this video for interrogating terrorists.

IM SO SCARED AND CONFUSED AND I WANT TO CRY BUT I WANT TO SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME 

Can I just bring this back

walmart-jeans if u were my gf I’d make you videos like this

(Source: ouch)

(Source: myfriendisaac)

http://towritelesbiansonherarms.tumblr.com/post/100603957309/thenotsosecretdiaryofakate-does-anybody-else 

thenotsosecretdiaryofakate:

Does anybody else remember that weirdass youtube video from like 2006 with the serial killer who kills “painfully slowly” or something and he just chases this guy around for like 10 years smacking him with a spoon until one day the spoon breaks and the dudes like…

tiredestprincess:

@god why did you allow this to happen to one of your angels

tiredestprincess:

@god why did you allow this to happen to one of your angels

(Source: tilly3200)

newbun:

milthanks:

i have watched this at least 300 times and have laughed every single time

nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(Source: obvious-electricity)

(Source: totalparksandrec)

literallyleslieknope:

I’m so glad this infographic exists.

(Source: ammaasante)

They were smiling at each other as if this was the beginning of the world.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love of the Last Tycoon (via tat-art)

(Source: fitzgeraldquotes)

It’s funny, when I think about this exact time last year. Things were so different. I never would have thought that things could change so much in only a year. I wonder what next October will be like.

(Source: truegriefbeard)

Anonymous said: you tell crazy stories but has a woman ever tried to kill you ?

hello-new-york:

prettyboyshyflizzy:

This one girl accused me of cheating for having female friends (which i wasnt fucking or flirting with but was just cool friends I dont wanna talk to a bunch of niggas all day i need a female perspective on things) she was screaming at me for 20 mins straight

i dont argue back cause im laid back im just like mhmmm mhmmm looking in my phone checking sports scores and on twitter … so at one point she says “was the pussy atleast good my nigga?” i was like “mmhmm that shit was nice and tight”  all of a sudden i heard silence i look up shes like

image

*this is the moment where i knew i fucked up*

just looks at me like that for like 20 seconds “im like bae im just playing.. im just playing…”  she runs to the kitchen… and starts going in the drawers “im like shawty u needa chill”   im like “im just playing”

she pulls something out all i see was the light beam reflect off it

i get a good look i see this in her hand

im in the couch like

she starts running towards me so i open the door step outside then shut the door from the outside and use all my body weight to hold onto the door knob, She used to run track in highschool so i think she gon catch me so im like nah im not even gon run and get stabbed in the spine

she pulling tryna open it lol im in a project type building on the 12th floor man I was standing there for 43 mins shorty aint have an ounce of quit in her. People walking by laughing hearing her screaming at me

some middle aged lady walked by she was like 50 she was like “mmmmhmmm she caught your ass didnt she”

im like “ma’am help my arms tired”

she was like ahaaa nope “call that bitch you was fucking for help”  and walked into her apt

then shorties mom came out the elevator i was like thank god.. she was like oh lord what u do.. i was like “nothingg ma’am she got a knife i swear i did nothing ” her mom was like “kita put the damn knife down im coming in if u stab me imma beat your ass” i feel the pressure get off the door and i make a run for it i see her try to come chase me but her mom blocks her Im sure i coulda beat usain bolt in a race the way i was running

she was really gon stab me, If her moms aint come i woulda still been standing there holding the door to this day

IM CRYING

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